A Man Cannot Be Free
by Miralys
Summary: An encounter between Charlie and his ultimate downfall, heroin. Charlie's views and feeling through the glass of heroin. A semi songfic using the song Heroin by the Velvet Underground. It's good, I promise.


_A/N: The song that I use is called "Heroin" by the Velvet Underground. It is truly wonderful music and strongly suggest that everyone download it. _

_**Disclaimer: **Do I look like a washed out member of Andy Warhol's Factory or a television mastermind? No, I wonder why because I'm not Lou Reed or JJ Abrams. _

**A Man Cannot Be Free**

The blue vein was popping out of the skin; a needle poised above. Sweat trickled down his face, blue eyes concentrating with a slightly mad look about them. Every noise was intensified, reverberating through his body. He needed it. No matter what happened it was there, always a part of him that craved it. And then when he finally gave in, in that moment, it was all worth it. He blinked; the needle passing from his site giving way to every part of him that screamed like ghosts for that one substance. Heroin. And then just one drop of sweat fell, a fall that lasted an eternity and Charlie gave in.

_When I put a spike into my vein_

_Then I tell you things aren't quite the same_

_When I'm rushing on my run_

_And I feel just like Jesus' son_

_And I guess that I just don't know_

He knew there would be repercussions; they loomed above him waiting for him to come out of his drugged stupor. Everything that was his flashed before his eyes: Claire, Aaron, his brother Liam, Claire, the island, his piano, Claire…Claire

_I have made the big decision_

_I'm gonna try to nullify my life_

_'Cause when the blood begins to flow_

_When it shoots up the dropper's neck_

_When I'm closing in on death._

They floated away on the tide but one refused to go with the tide. It was fighting against the current. A pale face, equally pale golden hair curling to frame her familiar face, her piercing and caring liquid, not blue but more like aquamarine, eyes with berry stained lips that frequently morphed into such a carefree smile not synchronized with the experiences plaguing her past. Her voice echoing in his head, "Charlie!" but sounded much more like "Cholly!" Then she was swept up too.

_I wish that I was born a thousand years ago_

_I wish that I'd sailed the darkened seas_

_On a great big clipper ship_

_Going from this land here to that_

_On a sailor's suit and cap_

_Away from the big city_

_Where a man cannot be free_

_Of all the evils of this town_

_And of himself and those around_

He was at peace. Every thing was calm; it was a void with nothing existed but Charlie and all the wonderful feelings that existed inside of him. The feeling was a burst of euphoria; too good to be true. He was privileged to have this experience, it existed only in him. It was a wonderful inertia and he was contend just to feel everything in a different way. The world wasn't the same world, he was in Charlie's world where he was calm, he was content and that was a rare thing. He was pulled under.

_Because when the smack begins to flow_

_I really don't care anymore_

_About all the Jim-Jims in this town_

_And all the politicians making crazy sounds_

_And everybody putting everybody else down_

_And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds_

_'Cause when the smack begins to flow_

_Then I really don't care anymore_

He was swept away, powerless under the influence, he couldn't stop, he wouldn't stop. It was the feeling, a feeling so indescribable, so wonderful that he was drowning in it. Claire didn't matter, she wasn't there. It was only him and the heroin.

_Ah, when that heroin is in my blood_

_And the blood is in my head_

_Man thank God that I'm as good as dead_

_And thank your God that I'm not aware_

_And thank God that I just don't care_

_I have made the big decision_

_I'm gonna try to nullify my life_

_'Cause when the blood begins to flow_

_When it shoots up the dropper's neck_

_When I'm closing in on death_

And then she was there her familiar face looming over him, wrecking his conciousness, an invasion bombarding his conciousness. Her face blurred as if he was gazing into her though the pane of water between them. He looked down on her, she was just another face that floated through his world. It didn't matter anymore than any other person that swam across his vision. There was only him, Charlie Pace. Charlie Pace and his heroin.

_And you can't help me, not you guys_

_Or all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk_

_You can all go take a walk_

_And I guess I just don't know_

_And I guess that I just don't know_

---

_Please Review, it makes me feel good on bad days (and on good days for that matter). And I swear I'm almost done with the second chapter of my Sana fic, I just got a little sidetracked._


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